My rating: 5 of 5 stars
“Let me share this whole new world with you.” ~Aladdin
Our lives may not always be fairy tales, but we can experience them in books every day. We can feel the fantasy; we can live the dream. Who doesn’t want to be a princess? Emma Chase whisks you into a better-than-Cinderella fairy tale in Royally Screwed where you feel that fantasy as you dive into one delicious dream. Alluring and all-consuming, Royally Screwed is a modern day rags-to-riches romance with a sexy Prince and the perfect blend of heat, humor, and heart.
Feeling like a Disney Princess, I dove into the delicious Royally Screwed where I wanted to take my time, sprinkling myself into this dream like fairy dust, where I could bask in the glow of wonder. Now for the reality: I devoured Royally Screwed with a deep hunger like an addict, ignoring everything and everyone, not wanting to surface for air. I could not sink fast enough into this story that quickly became my crack, captivating and claiming all of me. Royally Screwed instantly thrust me into a royal kingdom with one panty-melting and passionate Prince where I wanted to be his Cinderella.
Prince Nicholas Pembrook of Wessco is tall, blue-eyed, dark-haired, and handsome with a delicious body and dirty-talking mouth.
“What do you like to do in your spare time?”
“I enjoy rock climbing, driving as fast as I can without crashing, flying, good scotch, B-movies, and a scathingly passive-aggressive verbal exchange with the Queen…and I like to f**k. Which is probably the answer my fans would rather hear. The Palace, however, would lose their ever-loving minds if I had said that.”
His Royal Hotness indeed. The Prince’s inner thoughts were icing on the cake.
While Nicholas enjoys the royal perks, he is not a fan of his princely duties and wants to live as a real guy for once. According to the Queen, this hot and hilarious Prince doesn’t take those duties seriously. To save the kingdom from further embarrassment and worldwide mockery, the Queen decided that the Prince must find his Princess from a list of suitable royalty of course.
“The Queen has me by the balls—and I’m going to have to bleach my brain for even completing that thought—but besides that, I still have time.”
With only six months to find a bride, the Prince does what only a royally hot alpha who hates his royally ridiculous responsibilities can do: Run off to New York City to embark on one last adventure, far away from his princely duties, before he is forced into a wedding he doesn’t want. Little does Nicholas count on was his adventure being one where a beautiful waitress hurls a pie at his face after an offer he thought she wouldn’t refuse, and it’s a fixation at first sight.
“I’ve been told my cock is a gift from God. You should test that opinion tonight. You know…for religion.”
HOLY. HOT. That line may be cheesy but it fans the flame, heating me into molten lava.
Beautiful Olivia Hammond is struggling financially to help keep her family afloat in a bakery serving her famous pies. One Prince wants to devour her like pie and Olivia doesn’t have time for a distraction, no matter how tempting he is or how scrumptious he looks.
“I feel like a James Bond martini—shaken—but also stirred.”
The Prince is a determined man who has always taken what he wants. What or who he wants is Olivia, the gal with the sassy mouth and lush lips that he wants to taste. His raunchy and racy humor along with his charm is slowly seducing Olivia.
“Possessively. Boldly. Like he owns me. And in this moment he does. Holy f**k. Does he know how to kiss. I think I have an orgasm of the mouth. A mouth-gasm. And it’s amazing.”
Combine the seductive charm and heated humor with one passionate and soul-shattering kiss and Olivia falls into the rabbit hole, completely smitten by the oh-so-persuasive Prince.
Somehow, perhaps halfway through Royally Screwed, my laughing and lusting was overcome by swooning as this story penetrated my heart, piercing it like Cupid’s arrow. Hook. Line. Sinker. I was royally smitten and my heart was royally sunk.
“I smile—and I know it’s radiant. Because that’s how I feel. Right now—in his arms. Lit from the inside, like a luminous shooting start that won’t ever dim.”
The Prince moves from seducer to seduced as Olivia’s power over him is like that of no other woman. She is the first to see the man behind the mirror…the real Nicholas.
“She looks into my eyes and I’m lost. Wrecked. Owned.”
Olivia has the Prince under her spell, and he wants to remain spellbound. Olivia doesn’t want to end the best thing that’s ever happened to her, the man who is more than just a Prince. The man who is sweet, sexy, funny, and amazing who has stolen her heart.
“…I see him clearly. It’s the face of a fallen angel. A fallen angel with secrets in his eyes.”
Prince Nicholas’ duty is to marry a noble bride, not a commoner. If only the law allowed him to marry Olivia, the woman who has quickly captured his heart but one who must be a temporary fix because duty calls.
“I should’ve left her alone. I should’ve walked away the moment I started to feel…everything. I had no business trying to keep her. It will forever be the cruelest thing I’ve ever done.”
Secrets, lies, and an unyielding Queen equate to one royal mess. Nicholas is royally screwed.
“We can’t change who we are—not a queen, a prince, or a girl from New York. Like he told me once…royalty is forever.”
Royally Screwed is royally incredible, one unputdownable and unforgettable tale! I fell fast and hard for Prince Nicholas, one of my new best book boyfriends and amazing alphas. I fell fast and hard for the secondary characters, Prince Henry the little brother, and Franny, Olivia’s new royal friend whose lady balls were sky high. I fell fast and hard for Royally Screwed, an immensely intoxicating and incredible modern day Cinderella story. I FELL FAST AND HARD FOR IT ALL!.
This book is bloody brilliant! Royally Screwed blew me away as one of best books I’ve read this year and ever! I did not expect this story to twist and turn itself around me where I FELT ALL THE FEELS. I laughed and lusted, and then cried happy and sad tears. Royally Screwed brought the heat and humor, but also a heap of heart coupled with courage and hope where I could not help but FALL IN UTTER LOVE with this rom-com that is SO MUCH MORE.
I don’t know why I waited so long to meet Emma Chase’s masterpieces, but I was a fool to procrastinate. This author is one of my new favorites: those who BRING IT ALL to their work, where their imaginations, humor, and hearts are poured into every beautiful and brilliant word. These go-to authors write books that aren’t simply stories but escapes from reality, adventures where you free-fall so hard that you don’t to surface for air.
Emma Chase sprinkled fairy dust on the pages of Royally Screwed, an enchanting and entertaining story of epic love, a gem so beautiful and bright. Royally Screwed is pure magic, penned and painted to perfection, a movie playing while reading. I had laughs in my gut, love in my heart and stars in my eyes. The story that’s an ace in a sea of cards, I can’t wait to get Royally Screwed again as my fairy tale was over too soon.
★★★★★ 5 royally good stars
Nicholas Arthur Frederick Edward Pembrook, Crowned Prince of Wessco, aka His Royal Hotness, is wickedly charming, devastatingly handsome, and unabashedly arrogant; hard not to be when people are constantly bowing down to you.
Then, one snowy night in Manhattan, the prince meets a dark haired beauty who doesn’t bow down. Instead, she throws a pie in his face.
Nicholas wants to find out if she tastes as good as her pie, and this heir apparent is used to getting what he wants.
Dating a prince isn’t what waitress Olivia Hammond ever imagined it would be.
There’s a disapproving queen, a wildly inappropriate spare heir, relentless paparazzi, and brutal public scrutiny. While they’ve traded in horse drawn carriages for Rolls Royces, and haven’t chopped anyone’s head off lately, the royals are far from accepting of this commoner.
But to Olivia, Nicholas is worth it.
Nicholas grew up with the whole world watching, and now Marriage Watch is in full force. In the end, Nicholas has to decide who he is and, more importantly, who he wants to be: a King… or the man who gets to love Olivia forever.
“I have a plan.”
We’re in the library of the suite. Nicholas is behind the desk, his hair falling still damp over his forehead from a recent shower, while James and Tommy stand near the windows.
“Take off your clothes,” I say, dropping a stuffed backpack at my feet.
He stands, giving me a curious, dimple-flashing smile that makes my stomach tingle.
“I like this plan.”
He pulls his shirt over his head—and at the sight of that gorgeous chest and ripped abs, I have to close my mouth to stop the flow of drool.
“Should I send the lads to their room?” he asks.
I toss him a Beastie Boys T-shirt and ripped jeans from the backpack. “They can stay—I’ll get to them in a second.”
Nicholas puts on the outfit, his disguise for the day. I hold up a thick gold chain with a dangling cross, and he dips his head so I can loop it over his neck. Then I squirt gel into my hand and reach up on tiptoes to rub it through his hair—mussing it at the top and slicking the sides.
“Do you know how to drive a motorcycle?”
“Excellent.” I pull a helmet with a full, tinted face shield out of the backpack and hold it up. “Marty’s bike is downstairs. He said to tell you: break it, you bought…a Ducati.”
Logan steps into the room from where he was stationed just outside the door, lifting his hand, like a traffic cop. “Hold on, now—”
Nicholas takes the helmet. “It’ll be fine, Logan.”
“And,” I say cautiously, turning to the three big, strong, probably-have-a-license-to-kill boys. “I want Nicholas and me to go on this outing alone. You guys stay here.”
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph.” Tommy says.
James makes the sign of the cross.
Logan takes another route. “No fuckin’ way. Not possible.”
But the look on Nicholas’s face says it’s definitely possible.
“No,” Logan insists again, his voice straining with a faint hint of desperation.
“I have an itinerary.” I take the sealed envelope out of the backpack and hand it to Logan. “I wrote everything down for you, just in case—exactly where we’ll be, every minute.” When he starts to tear it open I put my hand on his. “You can’t open it until after we’re gone—it’ll ruin the surprise. But I promise it will be all right. I swear on my life.”
My eyes drift from Logan to Nicholas. “Trust me.”
And I want him to—so much. I want to do this for him, give him something he hasn’t had. Something he’ll remember always: freedom.
Nicholas looks at the helmet, then at Logan. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Ah…you could get assassinated and the three of us will hang for treason.”
“Don’t be silly,” Nicholas scoffs. “We haven’t hung anyone in years.” He smacks Logan’s back. “It’d be the firing squad.”